Day 44 & 45: "Welcome Home"

We finally made it home after exactly 30 hours of door-to-door travel, leaving us with mixed emotions.

We got in a cab at 10 in the morning in Jakarta to head to the airport. The driver told Ashwin that he looked like a young Ronald Reagan (really?) and Danny that he looked like Chuck Norris (it's the beard). We had thought we had seen the end of our look-a-like possibilities, but then the taxi driver went on to say that Danny (yeah, Danny) looked like a terrorist and pointed to his beard. Twenty seconds after paying and getting out of the cab, Ashwin realized that he was without one of his most essential possessions on the trip (second only to his passport, of course) - his Tilly hat. He turned around and ran into the street chasing after a pale blue cab like a game of frogger, only to find out that it was not the right one (they all look exactly the same). Our cab was already out of site. After 45 days Ashwin loses his hat 2 hours prior to boarding our flight home, sending him into a depression that he may never recover from.

When we saw the gigantic economy check in line, guess what we did. We glanced at each other and without even speaking a word walked straight to the front of the "Diamond Card" desk. Without questioning our status as infrequent fliers with EVA, the man at the desk checked us in to seats in row 27. It wasn't until we boarded the plane that we realized he had checked us into business class - the first 20 rows are in the upper deck of the 747, leaving us 7 rows behind the nose of the plane. Sometimes not following "the rules" has its benefits. We were easily able to sleep for the entire 5 hour flight to Taipei.

For our 3 hour layover in Taipei, we spent nearly an hour searching for a minimart to buy snacks and caffeinated drinks for our 12 hour flight to LA. In an effort to avoid jetlag, we had decided to stay awake for the whole flight so that when we landed at 11 pm we would be tired and ready for bed. Mind you, our flight left Taipei at midnight, making this an extremely difficult task. Despite having more upscale shopping than most American malls, the international airport didn't have a single minimart, forcing us to purchase 6 cans of coffee from a vending machine, and spending our remaining cash on a fancy box of Swiss dark chocolate (not exactly health food but it helped).

The on-demand personal entertainment systems provided us with nonstop audiovisual stimulus for the next 12 hours, making the task of staying up all night a little easier. We managed to watch a total of 5 feature length films: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (typical terrible cheesy chick flick), The Soloist (an excellent drama), Adventureland (hilarious but not to be seen again), Fast & Furious 4 (was the 3rd one even necessary?), and finally The Birdcage (a properly categorized "Timeless Classic" that had us laughing out loud in our seats and waking up the people around us). We were the only people smart enough to stay awake for the whole flight (or dumb enough?). We really do question how all of these people will adjust to the time change when they wake up in LA at 11 pm. Staying awake was no easy feat, and we were both struggling by the 5 hour mark. Our protocol became downing a cup of coffee, eating a few pieces of chocolate, taking a few "No Jet Lag" pills (which worked miraculously via the placebo effect), climbing over the guy in the aisle seat, walking laps through the plane, and stretching in the flight attendants’ kitchen in the back. We were afraid that we would be detained at immigration for suspected drug use with our glazed over, blood shot eyes (not to mention our 6-week beards), but when we finally got off the plane we went through customs like a knife through warm butta (sorry, we couldn't resist). We were very surprised that Danny was not quarantined for having a terrible case of “Yellow Fever”. Doctor Ashwin (a title only 5 years premature) believes that a few days in Santa Barbara will cure his ailment, but that he probably shouldn’t step foot in Berkeley anytime soon. It wasn't until the custom agent's greeting of "Welcome home" did we truly feel like we were back in America. We got a bit nervous when more than an hour went by and we still didn't have our backpacks. Luckily, they were among the last few pieces to pop out onto the carousel.

Stepping out into the cool Los Angeles air was amazingly refreshing, more so to our bodies than our lungs. We celebrated with a high five and a "America, Fuck Yeah!" cheer (May, if you don't understand the cultural reference, we're sure Michael can fill you in). Even being back in America people were staring at us (as we still were among the few white people - have you ever been to Tom Bradley at midnight? - and were decked out in matching USA Polo Team jerseys). When we got off the SB Airbus, we finally took in a breath of crisp cool sea air.

It was wonderful to be back home in America, land where the air is clean, the food is recognizable, the butchers remove the bones from the meat, and the tap water is drinkable, land where the showers are hot and separated from the toilet, the toilet paper is two-ply quilted, the toilets actually have seats, and the public bathrooms are free of charge, land where the roads are paved, the traffic laws are obeyed, and the buses are air-conditioned, and, finally, land where purchasing a t-shirt does not involve a 15 minute negotiation where the guy you have known for only a few minutes calls you "my good friend" repeatedly until you shell out twice what the item is worth.

Despite everything we missed about America during our 6 week tour of Southeast Asia, we wouldn't have wanted it any other way. The unique cultures, exceptionally friendly people, and breathtaking scenery made our adventure truly memorable. Writing this blog has been especially rewarding - to have you along for the ride with us and us in your thoughts back home, as well as providing us with reinforcement for our merely human capacity for memory. Like all things in life our SE Asia adventure has come to an end, but this is by no means an end to our world travels (we are in negotiations with the Travel Channel for our own adventure show).

We'd like to leave you all with a few numbers to summarize the trip:

-70: Lowest elevation achieved (hint: we were not dry)
1: Unforgettable trip
2: # of hemispheres visited
3: Most number of nights spent in the same room
4: # of times we’ve contemplated joining AA
5: Ashwin’s favorite number (sorry, nothing happened 5 times)
6: # of countries visited (a very American way to travel)
7: # of bro-shirts collected (not sure what we’ll do with them now)
8: # of nights spent on moving vehicles (17% of all nights)
9: # of times lectured by foreigners about the US welfare system
10: # of times Janet has reminded us to hydrate
15: # of people following the blog just for Michael’s comments
20: # of times we've been mistaken as twins or brothers
25: # of times May has been worried about our well-being
45: # of times we said “Damn, this is the life!” (every day, no joke)
90: # of times the “4th generation” joke applied (at least Anu gets it)
109: Average # of unique visitors to our blog per day (thank you StatCounter)
22,000: # of miles traveled (est via Google Maps)
10 million: # of grains of rice eaten (a mere guesstimation but not too far off)
Countless: # of memories that will last us a lifetime


If you are ever contemplating a trip to Southeast Asia, please don't hesitate to contact us at aatre55@gmail.com and danseigle@gmail.com. We'd love to share our newfound insider knowledge and are open for hire as personal tour guides (we promise plenty of, if not too much, excitement).


"Memories are a part of human experience, at times so deep as to be permanent" - Chen Chi-Kwan

Day 43: I wanna rock and roll all night...

...and party every day. The meaning of this title will be clear shortly.

The single flaw in our itinerary thus far is that we had one too many days in Jakarta. Not bad considering this is a 45 day trip. However, we still made the most of it. After doing our morning workout (consisting of sets of push ups and sit ups to maintain our statuesque bodies) we headed to the National Museum. We should have anticipated what we were getting ourselves into when we only had to pay 7 cents to get in. Most of the lights in the galleries were broken, making it difficult to see anything, and what the lights would have illuminated would not have been that exciting to see anyway (more pottery and Buddha statues). The lack of air conditioning in an unventilated building in 90 degree weather made it even more difficult to enjoy.

Cultured-out and not wanting to see another clay pot for years to come, we headed to the locals' shopping mall. It was overwhelming to say the least. 6 stories cram-packed with stands stock-piled with the lowest quality goods imaginable. Shirts for a dollar, wallets for 2, and watches for 3, and quality that was correspondingly low. Despite our previous day's activities, we managed to make it through without a single purchase - we do have some standards of quality. It was, however, interesting to walk around and see the locals do their shopping.

We hopped in a taxi headed for the shopping complex that we had lived in yesterday. After making it only 2 km in an hour and ten minutes in the ridiculously dense traffic, we paid the driver and decided to walk through the city the rest of the way. We soon stumbled upon an Independence day parade and realized the cause of all of the congestion. Just our luck. It was great to witness another colorful display of Indonesian culture.

Craving entertainment and with nothing else to do, we bought tickets to see the new G.I. Joe movie - a perfect film to enjoy with the theater's unrivaled sound system for only 2 USD. The movie was non-stop entertainment and tapped into our child-like love of cheesy action sequences (this is by no means a recommendation to see this movie, as our longing for American culture has definitely skewed our judgment).

On our way out of the theater, the hostesses of a restaurant started calling to us and pointing at our shirts. We soon realized that we were walking past a Hard Rock Cafe, and our matching Hard Rock Cafe Bali bro shirts had attracted their attention. Even though we were planning on heading home, they convinced us to stay for the live band coming on in 10 minutes. What a great decision to give into their high pressure sales. We spent the next 3 hours rocking out to covers of all of our favorite American hits (including the KISS song mentioned in the title). The band's ability to play (and know all the lyrics) of any requested song was truly impressive. An extremely drunk Asian's dance moves added to the already entertaining evening.

This concludes the last full day of our travels, and tomorrow afternoon we depart on our 24 hour journey back home. We know this hasn't been the most exciting last few days for the blog, but we promise an exciting last entry for all of our beloved followers upon our return.

Day 42: Ashwin&Danny go shopping

As today is Indonesian Independence Day, the only things open are the shopping centers (they are actually called "Shopping Towns") and movie theaters (which are contained within the towns). We have avoided riding motorbikes for the entire trip because our bible, the guidebook, informed us that it is the number one cause of tourist accidents and deaths in this part of the world. However, with the shear number of motorbikes driving on the streets of Jakarta and their impressive ability to weave through dense traffic, we couldn't let this triviality stop us. When we approached two bike taxis, we were reassured to see a helmet hanging from the handle bars of each bike. After negotiating the price, the drivers put on the helmets and motioned for us to hop on the back. So much for safety, but they did get us to the mall quickly.

Our entire afternoon and evening was spent in one giant shopping complex (technically it was 3 different malls but they were all connected by skybridges). After window shopping on the luxury goods floor, we did some serious damage at the Polo store, as their Independence Day sale prices could never be matched in the States. Anu, just like you've told us that we shouldn't be allowed to drink together, we also shouldn't be allowed to shop together. Whenever one of us asked the other if he should get a particular item, we would quickly respond with "Whatever, it's cheap, I'll get one too." We nearly cleared out the entire store and it took a team of 4 sales ladies 15 minutes to ring us up (it's not quite as bad as it sounds because they had to type in many of the barcode numbers).

After an authentic dinner in the massive food court, we saw Pixar's UP in 3D. This movie was simply stunning, as was the theater, which had seats the size of lazy boys and the best sound system we've ever experienced (it really was an experience to feel our seats shake as the house flew through the thunderstorm). Funny thing is, when we finally made it outside (the place was like a maze to navigate) we realized it had rained earlier in the day and we had been completely oblivious. We know we should have avoided large upscale American hotels given recent events, but we couldn't resist going to see the Grand Hyatt's lobby adjacent to the shopping center and we were reassured when we had to pass through airport-style security just to get in. What a great day celebrating Independence Day in a mall.

Day 41: Ashwin&Danny go to a rave

We were really sad to leave the tropical paradise that we have called home for the last 8 days and head to the capital city of Jakarta. When boarding our plane, we were squished into a bus and driven all of 30 meters to the waiting plane. Apparently walking that distance is too much to ask of the customers. Despite it being 90 degrees outside, they air-conditioned the plane to practically sub-zero temperatures, and our typical outfits of bro-shirts and shorts did not provide much insolation. Luckily the flight was only an hour and a half long. We decided to take the public bus from the airport to the city center. The nice (or not so nice) thing about these 3rd world countries is that they let you on the bus even if all of the seats are taken - the situation we encountered when we stepped on board and they closed the doors. For the hour long bus ride we sat on top of a pile of suitcases in the front of the bus (luckily the ride was accident free, otherwise we would have been catapulted through the largest windshield we have ever seen). The ride in the tuk-tuk from the bus stop to our hostel was not much better, as the back seat was barely big enough for the two of us, let alone us and our backpacks.

We attempted to meet up at a cafe with our friends that we had met in the Gili Islands, but the impossible to find Cafe 365 was closed and was oddly labeled Cafe 148. Even the friendly local who walked us to the place was surprised to find it closed. Unfortunately we had left their phone number in the hostel so we were unable to meet somewhere else. Instead, we went to the nearby McDonalds, which we have discovered to have the fastest wireless internet available (just buy a 50 cent McFlurry and they give you the password).

After killing some time on our iPhones and observing the surprisingly lively social scene of Indonesian teenagers at the McDonalds, we headed to a club called The Stadium, which is purported to have some of the craziest parties in Indonesia (some even claim all of Asia). We have never witnessed anything quite like this. It's a four story megaclub which can hold 5000 people and opens on Thursday night and doesn't close until Monday morning. We worked our way up each floor, constantly being asked "Do you need girls?" (not to worry, we always politely refused). The top floor consists of a giant 2000 person dance hall with a second story wrap around balcony, with pounding deep house beats and laser lights pulsating with the music. This place would never pass an American fire inspection, as almost everyone is smoking and the only ways out are a narrow staircase and a tiny elevator. From watching the people dancing it became clear that alcohol was not the drug of choice here. Parents, you'll be happy to know that alcohol was our drug of choice, but we only drank the one beer that was included with the cover charge. It was an interesting night of observation but after a few hours we had to leave because our eyes were stinging from the smoke filled room.

Day 40: Detox and Retox

Disappointed to leave the Gilis, we boarded the Mahi Mahi bound for Bali. The seas were considerably more rough than during the ride out, but exhausted from the night before we were able to catch up on some sleep. We shared a taxi into town from the harbor with an extremely friendly British couple (he was wearing rainbow sandles that he had picked up on a surf trip to California) and ended up joining them for lunch.

Once again, it was difficult to find a room in busy Kuta, but our searching paid off. Our room made it feel like we were staying in the Four Seasons compared to the accomodations we had in the Gilis - there was even an infinity pool and we had a second story balcony with an ocean view (if it weren't for the 3 story hotel next door). For the first time since Taiwan we had a dedicated shower with an actual tub. Everywhere else we've been has just had a shower head coming out of the bathroom wall next to the toilet with a drain in the corner of the tile floor. It was nice to finally have a real shower.

Once again, we went to the beach to relax and stayed for the sunset. Pleased with our last massages, we went back to the same parlor and got the full treatment - body and head massage, pedicure, and manicure. We felt a bit strange going all out but they assured us that guys come in and do it all the time (most likely just a marketing ploy). Besides, with all that we've done our feet and hands needed some attention.

Now that we had detoxed, it was time to retox. This weekend is a big party weekend in Indonesia because Independence Day is on Monday, and we couldn't miss out on such a great cultural experience. We headed to our two favorite clubs, Bounty and Paddy's, and drank brightly colored cocktails from glass fishbowls. We're not sure how this fits in with Indonesian independence but the Aussies sure enjoyed it to the fullest, often double fisting them. At one point, Danny was literally dragged on stage to participate in a beer chugging contest. His opponents were all Aussie and each had at least 50 pounds and 5 inches on him. When they yelled "go" Danny started chugging like an American not wasting a drop, while all of the Aussies had half of their beers running down their chests. Despite this not being a fair competition, to Danny's credit he didn't finish that far behind.

Day 39: Ashwin&Danny set sail that day for a 6 hour tour...

...a 6 hour snorkeling tour of the 3 Gili Islands. The rented fins and mask left something to be desired (the fin heels were held together with patches and staples), but we made do with what we had and enjoyed the brightly colored corals and the plethora of marine life glistening in the bright sun. At one of the stops, where the current was exceptionally strong and it turned into an impromptu drift dive, we got to swim with a large hawksbill sea turtle that was coming up to the surface for air. When Danny followed beside the turtle, he didn't realize that he had commenced on a free dive to 30 feet and struggled to make it back to the surface for air. We stopped for lunch on the smallest of the Gili Islands and ate with a couple we met on the boat. He was an American working in the anti-terrorism unit at the US Embassy in Jakarta and she was a Peruvian/Sweed English teacher. She even commented that Ashwin looked like a splitting image of her good friend, who is half Peruvian and half Swedish (we really are chameleons). The two were so nice they even suggested that we join them for dinner that night.

As our room does not have fresh water, Danny was taken aback when he brushed his teeth the first night and he got a mouthful of salt water. We discovered from our diving experience that the only places with fresh water on the island are the dive shops so that they can rinse off the dive equipment. After our snorkeling, we returned to Manta to rinse off the salt - the closest thing to showering we've had in 3 days. We will no longer take American plumbing for granted.

After relaxing with a beer in a beachside cafe (which had one of the best playlists we've heard in a while), we walked next door to the Beach House, our favorite restaurant on the island. This time, we splurged and split a 400 gram lobster and the Mahi Mahi, both of which lived up to our high expectations. During our dinner conversation, we learned an interesting and scary fact from the couple. The reason why you don't ever see cheap Thai whiskey in the States is because it contains a small amount of amphetamines. When you drink 2 buckets of this stuff, as we did on Ko Phi Phi, it adds up, and this explains a lot of our behavior (fire jumping, late nights, etc). We feel a bit violated and in the future will shell out the few extra dollars for the middle shelf.

Upon the recommendation of a British lady that Danny dove with the morning prior, we walked next door to Scallywags, our second favorite restaurant on the island, to try the chocolate brownie with mint ice cream. It was exactly as she had described it - fresh out of the oven and still gooey in the middle. On this trip we have very rarely indulged in dessert, but this was a brownie not to be missed.

As it was our last night in the Gilis, and a Friday night, what else would we do besides partake in the nightlife with several Bintangs. Wanting to make some new friends, Danny told Ashwin "Play along, you bet me 5 bucks that those girls are American", approached a group of girls in the bar, and said "Could you help me settle a bet I have with my friend? I bet you're British, he thinks your American." Turns out they were British and were offended that Ashwin pegged them as American. Nevertheless we quickly befriended them and danced the night away to the most recent American tunes, with of course the occasional Michael Jackson song. Due to a mix up at the bar, we ended up with Red Bull (it's so strong it's not allowed in America) vodkas and somehow we ended up in a saltwater pool at a nearby dive shop until 4 in the morning.

Day 38: Darling it's better, Down where it's wetter

...Take it from us, under the sea is amazing. We woke up early so that Danny could catch his morning dive to Shark Point, properly named as he saw one reef shark and a plethora of turtles, lobsters, morey eels, and tropical fish. While Danny was diving, Ashwin decided to take the "Discover Scuba" intro class at the Manta Dive Shop, allowing him to dive to a maximum of 12 meters in the afternoon. Ashwin was a little nervous, as the last time he tried diving as part of his certification, he suffered ear drum damage due to the frigid waters of the San Luis Obispo harbor and was stuck snorkeling on our French Polynesian adventures 4 years ago. Danny reassured him by saying that only cold water gives him ear problems while diving. After a 2 hour briefing and pool session, Ashwin was ready for the open water. We grabbed lunch at a local hideway that was recommended by the divemaster, which served some of the most authentic and flavorful food we have had yet.

We assembled our scuba gear and set out to Manta Point (which is improperly named, as we didn't see a single ray). After a quick briefing on the boat, we geared up and James Bonded over the side of the boat into the water. Ashwin made a perfect descent with no ear discomfort at all, and Danny even thought he looked like a pro, especially compared to the few other first timers in the water who looked like fish out of water (no pun intended), and even his dad who usually takes several tries to clear his ears (sorry Michael). While the divemaster led the other first timers at the 12 meter level, Ashwin stuck with his designated buddy, Danny, and we both swam down the reef wall to 70 feet. Did you really think we were going to follow the rules? Plus, they're more like guidelines anyway (like a speed limit when Ashwin is driving a rental car in upstate New York). Like a true newbie, Ashwin didn't really realize how deep we were, until the 3rd time that Danny pointed to his depth gauge. Before this, Ashwin just thought Danny was asking how much air he had and would reply with the OK hand signal. When he did realize how deep he was, Ashwin put his hand out for a high-five to commemorate the 70 foot depth (which, mind you, is 10 feet below the limit for open water certified divers, and boasts pressures 3 times the atmospheric pressure on land).

It's like being on another planet under the sea and we were lucky to be exploring one of the most pristine reefs in the world. Brilliantly colored coral went on for as far as we could see (with nearly unheard of visibility of at least 40 meters, Danny says this almost rivals the diving in Tahiti) and we were lucky enough to get within a few feet of two giant hawksbill turtles feeding on the coral. Among the myriad fish swimming among the coral, we saw trigger fish, lion fish, dolphin fish (mahi mahi), trumpet fish, clown fish (straight out of Finding Nemo), tiger fish, and tons more that we don't remember the names of. There were even many schools of bright blue and gold fish that Danny termed "Cal fish".

With a full hour of bottom time, Ashwin outlasted all of the other beginners that had to return to the surface in the middle of the dive. He is now determined to complete his certification so that he'll never again miss the opportunity to dive in some of the best spots in the world, like he did in Tahiti four years ago nearly to the week (not to worry, he did enjoy the exquisite snorkelling there with Janet and Jeremey). May, let's go somewhere tropical and finish what we started. And Mike, let us know of any upcoming dive trips. On our return to shore, we got matching Manta Dive Shop shirts to commemorate this awesome experience. Danny says Ashwin is now a true "world traveller", as 70% of the Earth's surface is covered in water.

After resting and rehydrating (with some Bintang which went straight to our heads as the dry compressed air is quick to dehydrate), we moved to the restaurant next door to the one from last night, and had one of the most amazing meals of our lives. We know that we keep saying that everything we do is "the best ever", but it's actaully true as everything just keeps getting better. Yes, May, it is still paradise, but we don't want to beat a dead horse. Speaking of horses, the only form of transportation on the Gili Islands is horsedrawn wagons, bikes, or your own two feet. It is so nice to be free of the fumes of combustion engines (not that you would know about this, May). Back to dinner... Danny had a mouthwatering, perfectly seared Ahi tuna the size of a large American steak, and Ashwin had the most delectable Mahi Mahi imaginable, whose freshness could not be matched by even the most high end of restaurants in the States.

To end yet another perfect day, we lounged in a bamboo hookah cabana right on the beach with apple-mint flavored sheesha for 3 hours until we couldn't stay awake any longer. We're truly enjoying healthy doses of the hedonistic island life.